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It's My News, Not Yours!

I am angry. Not consumed by rage, but that mix of angry, disappointed, and sad that makes a person feel like utter shit. If you have read other posts on this blog, you know how I feel about my pregnancy, and since no one really reads it, it's still mostly a secret.

I only told a couple of people, and I trusted those people to keep their mouths shut until I wanted to announce it to everyone about our hopeful baby-to-be. But instead, I got a phone call last night from my mother asking how her sister already knew out it. My mom said my aunt heard from it from my husband's aunt, who we are not close to by the way, and she was afraid people close to us would find out from others.

What I wanted to know was how the heck did Brett's aunt know? I didn't tell them, and everyone I told was sworn to secrecy because we don't even know if the pregnancy is viable. We are not through the first trimester, and even though things can happen later on, I would be more comfortable sharing around that time. It's a stressful time for us, and I hoped the people that love us like my mom, sister, and Brett's parents would understand that and that we could trust them.

I guess not.

Nope, Brett's parents spilled the beans to not just one person or two but to a whole list of people that I'm not close to and that I didn't want to know yet. All of my mother-in-law's friends know now, and I feel like I cannot trust them anymore with information I do not want to be spread about.

This was my big news! It has taken so much of me to just get here: the doctor appointments, blood tests, other worst tests, ultrasounds, pills, shots, and surgeries. It has taken blood, way too many tears, and parts of my body to get here, and I wanted to tell people when I was ready. I know it's not the end of the world, but I'm angry and disappointed. Shouldn't Brett and I get the privilege of telling people? You only get to see that excitement once really!

Let's just hope today's ultrasound brings good news.

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