"Speak to me
When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through"
- The All-American Rejects "Move Along"
As I was driving to work this morning, I put in CD after CD into my player, trying to find the soundtrack to my morning. I'm not very high-tech, and instead of paying for Spotify without ads or rather use some other streaming service, I buy albums to listen to in my car.
Some of these are albums from when I first started to discover my own taste in music. Others I purchase for $2 at the thrift store. I'll never forget the first time I purchased a CD of my own. It was Good Charlotte's The Chronicles of Life and Death. Maybe not the best album in the world, but I was in junior high; my own emo roots just starting to show. Within a couple of years, I would have a case full of CDs with bands such as My Chemical Romance, The Used, Cartel, The Lost Prophets, Three Days Grace (before they changed their singer), Garbage, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Fall Out Boy, Taking Back Sunday, A Bullet for My Valentine, and the list goes on.
I had found my genre - emo.
This morning I was transported back to that time as I put in The All-American Rejects' album Move Along - a fantastic album about growing up, keeping secrets, and finding your place in the world. Bands such as this defined this era of emo-rock music that kept teenagers like myself hanging onto every song, and today I was reminded why.
Teenagers gravitate towards this music because for some of us, it was the first time we heard a person put into words and sounds how we felt. Part of the issue with not having a fully-formed pre-frontal cortex is that rationality goes out the windows, and teenagers are ruled by their emotions. As a high school teacher, I see it every day. For some teens, pop music is the mindless beats they can happily sing along too, but then there are the teens struggling to fit in, with mental illness, with trauma, or any other myriad of issues no child should ever have to deal with. This is the teen that is drawn towards the rock n' roll and emo music.
I should know after all since I was one.
It was therapeutic to find music that showed the sorrow and the anger I felt, especially at the adults I felt were failing me more often than not. It was reassuring to listen to bands sing about not fitting in, heartbreak, or just feeling so much it hurts. This is exactly what it can be like to be a teenager. Large emotions engulf them: anger, sadness, grief.
I would listen to their music and cry, scream, and smoke cigarettes in an attempt to numb myself. And today as an adult, I would be an overdone cliche, but I think there is a reason why there were many teenagers like myself back then, feeling lost and misunderstood, screaming their hearts out, or silently listening to their emo friends inside of headphones.
"We're the therapists pumping through your speakers delivering just what you need." - Fall Out Boy
As an adult today, I can handle my emotions better than I ever could in those ages. I listen to a plethora of genres, but when I hear certain songs or bands, it is like talking to an old friend. What happens to the emo kids as they grow up? Do we let go of our old personas and become an average adult or are we more? Are we still misunderstood?
Some days, I still feel like that kid who just wanted her parents to love her and be there for her. I'm still sad and angry as an adult, but I know it's not something to talk about in civilized conversation. Adults hide their wounds, but that doesn't mean that they disappear.
Look at me.
I made a whole life - a big, beautiful life.
Look at me.
Hey, mom, dad, are you proud yet?
Hey, look...
Can't you even notice?
When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through"
- The All-American Rejects "Move Along"
As I was driving to work this morning, I put in CD after CD into my player, trying to find the soundtrack to my morning. I'm not very high-tech, and instead of paying for Spotify without ads or rather use some other streaming service, I buy albums to listen to in my car.
Some of these are albums from when I first started to discover my own taste in music. Others I purchase for $2 at the thrift store. I'll never forget the first time I purchased a CD of my own. It was Good Charlotte's The Chronicles of Life and Death. Maybe not the best album in the world, but I was in junior high; my own emo roots just starting to show. Within a couple of years, I would have a case full of CDs with bands such as My Chemical Romance, The Used, Cartel, The Lost Prophets, Three Days Grace (before they changed their singer), Garbage, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Fall Out Boy, Taking Back Sunday, A Bullet for My Valentine, and the list goes on.
I had found my genre - emo.
This morning I was transported back to that time as I put in The All-American Rejects' album Move Along - a fantastic album about growing up, keeping secrets, and finding your place in the world. Bands such as this defined this era of emo-rock music that kept teenagers like myself hanging onto every song, and today I was reminded why.
Teenagers gravitate towards this music because for some of us, it was the first time we heard a person put into words and sounds how we felt. Part of the issue with not having a fully-formed pre-frontal cortex is that rationality goes out the windows, and teenagers are ruled by their emotions. As a high school teacher, I see it every day. For some teens, pop music is the mindless beats they can happily sing along too, but then there are the teens struggling to fit in, with mental illness, with trauma, or any other myriad of issues no child should ever have to deal with. This is the teen that is drawn towards the rock n' roll and emo music.
I should know after all since I was one.
It was therapeutic to find music that showed the sorrow and the anger I felt, especially at the adults I felt were failing me more often than not. It was reassuring to listen to bands sing about not fitting in, heartbreak, or just feeling so much it hurts. This is exactly what it can be like to be a teenager. Large emotions engulf them: anger, sadness, grief.
I would listen to their music and cry, scream, and smoke cigarettes in an attempt to numb myself. And today as an adult, I would be an overdone cliche, but I think there is a reason why there were many teenagers like myself back then, feeling lost and misunderstood, screaming their hearts out, or silently listening to their emo friends inside of headphones.
"We're the therapists pumping through your speakers delivering just what you need." - Fall Out Boy
As an adult today, I can handle my emotions better than I ever could in those ages. I listen to a plethora of genres, but when I hear certain songs or bands, it is like talking to an old friend. What happens to the emo kids as they grow up? Do we let go of our old personas and become an average adult or are we more? Are we still misunderstood?
Some days, I still feel like that kid who just wanted her parents to love her and be there for her. I'm still sad and angry as an adult, but I know it's not something to talk about in civilized conversation. Adults hide their wounds, but that doesn't mean that they disappear.
Look at me.
I made a whole life - a big, beautiful life.
Look at me.
Hey, mom, dad, are you proud yet?
Hey, look...
Can't you even notice?
"This is morning
It's when I spend the most time
Thinking 'bout what I've given up
This is a warning
When you start the day
Just to close the curtains
You're thinking 'bout what I've given up
It's when I spend the most time
Thinking 'bout what I've given up
This is a warning
When you start the day
Just to close the curtains
You're thinking 'bout what I've given up
Where are you now?"
- Jack's Mannequin "The Mixed Tape"
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